as of now, i am a full-time student at augusta state university in the pre-med program. my major is biology and i'm aspiring to become an Ob/Gyn...
yeah, about that...
i went to the first pre-med meeting of the year and there were about 15 representatives from MCG present. about ten were from the admissions committee or specialized departments. and five of the representatives were students. one was a first year student, one was a second year, one was a third year, and two were fourth year students. basically, i'll give you a run-down of what was discussed in this meeting:
around 2,000 people apply...230 are accepted.
while i am a 12-hour student and considered full-time now, a full-time student in med school is a 36-hour student.
the students that are accepted have hours and hours of volunteer and shadowing work.
the average GPA of the students enrolled in MCG is 3.7 and the average MCAT (Medical College Aptitude Test) is 39. the highest you can get is a 45....and if you get below a 30, you shouldn't even apply.
also, the students don't have jobs; they can't. medical school takes everything in them and they do not have a social life...
am i really smart enough, or driven enough to be accepted into medical school? do i have what it takes to be one of the 230 kids accepted out of 2,000? i don't have good study habits; i don't have good time-management. i want to be a doctor...i want it so bad, but do i want it bad enough? would i give up my life to become a doctor? or should i just become a high school english teacher?
the answers to all these questions: i don't have a clue in the world.
and this, this is the part of my future that scares me. what if i'm wasting my time right now in undergrad school? what if i'm killing myself over calculus and 7th level biology only to decide in a year that i can't do it? what if i let my parents down...what if i let myself down?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
oh boiled peanuts :)
so fall is my absolute favorite time of year :) the crisp air, the colors of the changing leaves, watching Boykin make an 80-yard run with 93,000 of your closest friends, licking the sugar of a Columbia County Fair funnel cake off your fingers before boarding the Sizzler, using your one-time-only slut card to dress up and taking pictures that you'll laugh at in 15 years, eating twice your weight in turkey and dressing, and anticipating Christmastime spent with family and friends.
it's the first day of this beautiful season and it has put me in one of the best moods. i can't wait to share all of these wonderful memories with those who mean the most to me. these next three and a half months are the last months i get to spend with the love of my life before he boards a plane headed overseas to defend our country. i won't be able to spend next fall with him, so i'm going to soak this one up and breathe it all in.
it's the first day of this beautiful season and it has put me in one of the best moods. i can't wait to share all of these wonderful memories with those who mean the most to me. these next three and a half months are the last months i get to spend with the love of my life before he boards a plane headed overseas to defend our country. i won't be able to spend next fall with him, so i'm going to soak this one up and breathe it all in.
Monday, September 14, 2009
we're in college now. scary thought, huh? it's like all that we've been waiting for is finally here...and it seems as if the expectation gave me a much greater high than the experience itself. when i set foot on campus, i was in awe. the buildings, the people, the freedom...it was one of the most thrilling feelings i've ever had. high school was just the bridge (the ever so long bridge) between childhood and adolescence, but i never thought growing up would be so hard...
from the time a child is born, he's being prepared to venture out on his own. learning to stand, learning to walk, to talk, to think for himself, to ride a bike, to drive a car, to earn money, etc. and we all look forward so much to the next step that we almost skip a step just to reach the next one. but, once we reach the next step, the next is only so far away and we want to be there so bad. college was that way for me, but college was not all it was cracked up to be.
sure, i am absolutely in love with college life. LOVE. while i live at home, i still have freedom (like today, i chose not to go to my english class because i decided to stay out late last night instead of doing my 15-source annotated bibliography that was due). the people i have met have been some of the most wonderful and interesting people i've ever encountered. the workload...oh it's tough. and of course, i think that staying out until one in the morning every night is okay. and then i'm stuck the next day cramming an entire week's assignments into a one-hour break period...so i suppose i put the stress on myself. so why do i stay out until one? here is where college doesn't quite add up to what i wouldve liked for it to...
loneliness...i suppose i expected the college parties and to meet more people, but i guess i let one person consume my whole life (she will remain unnamed). i hung out with her every single day. i gave up the four people in this world who have been there for me since day one, the people who mean more to me than they will ever know so that i could hang out with her. i wanted to feel accepted...to feel like i was part of something that was more than going to burger king every night or driving around with nothing to do. but soon after i left that part of my life behind, i missed it terribly but by then, it was too late...i had lost myself. i let myself become what my new friends wanted me to be. by the end of my senior summer, i had no idea who i was anymore. lauren was no longer a part of me and i had become someone i never wanted to become...a follower. my days consisted of her,work, her, her, and more her. she completely took over my life, but i suppose i liked it. all summer i had felt unwanted and when i found someone who actually wanted to hang out with me, who went out of her way to talk to me, i clung onto her. this girl made me feel like i was someone important...i hadn't felt that from my other friends in God knows how long. anyway, i let this girl become my entire being...and then she was gone. i knew it would happen sooner or later because that's the way she is, but i was hoping for later. she was the one girl in my life i felt i could trust and that was gone in five minutes. i had given up everyone else in my life, so i felt like i had nothing left...but i have the most wonderful person who stands by me no matter what...
it's been this on/off "thing" for about two years, i suppose. he's come into my life, he's walked out. i'd find my way back to him, and leave. but this, this is different. i've never felt this way about another person in my entire life. about four years ago, a guy completely broke my heart. he is now married and has a kid on the way and i couldn't be happier for him. justin has completely changed my life. he is always there for me and has shown me what it's like to truly be in love with someone. we fight, we argue, but i would never want to live a day of my life without him. i've lost everything...my mom, my friends, my self-control; but even after i've had the worst day i could ever imagine, he's right there to make me smile. my happiness exists in him and he is everything i could ever want in a man. he knows me better than anyone, he is my best friend. i thank God for him...without him, i'd lose my sanity.
so, college has been a lonely, but great ride thus far. i've lost a lot of people, but gained so many more. i don't miss her, but i do miss them. i miss everything about them. the long roadtrips, the random work visits, the laughter, the EATING :) i'd give anything to have what i had back, but i guess people change, and i guess life must go on.
from the time a child is born, he's being prepared to venture out on his own. learning to stand, learning to walk, to talk, to think for himself, to ride a bike, to drive a car, to earn money, etc. and we all look forward so much to the next step that we almost skip a step just to reach the next one. but, once we reach the next step, the next is only so far away and we want to be there so bad. college was that way for me, but college was not all it was cracked up to be.
sure, i am absolutely in love with college life. LOVE. while i live at home, i still have freedom (like today, i chose not to go to my english class because i decided to stay out late last night instead of doing my 15-source annotated bibliography that was due). the people i have met have been some of the most wonderful and interesting people i've ever encountered. the workload...oh it's tough. and of course, i think that staying out until one in the morning every night is okay. and then i'm stuck the next day cramming an entire week's assignments into a one-hour break period...so i suppose i put the stress on myself. so why do i stay out until one? here is where college doesn't quite add up to what i wouldve liked for it to...
loneliness...i suppose i expected the college parties and to meet more people, but i guess i let one person consume my whole life (she will remain unnamed). i hung out with her every single day. i gave up the four people in this world who have been there for me since day one, the people who mean more to me than they will ever know so that i could hang out with her. i wanted to feel accepted...to feel like i was part of something that was more than going to burger king every night or driving around with nothing to do. but soon after i left that part of my life behind, i missed it terribly but by then, it was too late...i had lost myself. i let myself become what my new friends wanted me to be. by the end of my senior summer, i had no idea who i was anymore. lauren was no longer a part of me and i had become someone i never wanted to become...a follower. my days consisted of her,work, her, her, and more her. she completely took over my life, but i suppose i liked it. all summer i had felt unwanted and when i found someone who actually wanted to hang out with me, who went out of her way to talk to me, i clung onto her. this girl made me feel like i was someone important...i hadn't felt that from my other friends in God knows how long. anyway, i let this girl become my entire being...and then she was gone. i knew it would happen sooner or later because that's the way she is, but i was hoping for later. she was the one girl in my life i felt i could trust and that was gone in five minutes. i had given up everyone else in my life, so i felt like i had nothing left...but i have the most wonderful person who stands by me no matter what...
it's been this on/off "thing" for about two years, i suppose. he's come into my life, he's walked out. i'd find my way back to him, and leave. but this, this is different. i've never felt this way about another person in my entire life. about four years ago, a guy completely broke my heart. he is now married and has a kid on the way and i couldn't be happier for him. justin has completely changed my life. he is always there for me and has shown me what it's like to truly be in love with someone. we fight, we argue, but i would never want to live a day of my life without him. i've lost everything...my mom, my friends, my self-control; but even after i've had the worst day i could ever imagine, he's right there to make me smile. my happiness exists in him and he is everything i could ever want in a man. he knows me better than anyone, he is my best friend. i thank God for him...without him, i'd lose my sanity.
so, college has been a lonely, but great ride thus far. i've lost a lot of people, but gained so many more. i don't miss her, but i do miss them. i miss everything about them. the long roadtrips, the random work visits, the laughter, the EATING :) i'd give anything to have what i had back, but i guess people change, and i guess life must go on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
